1. (video)

[thisonetime]

[The feed comes on, but at first, everything's dark.]

The hell is this?

[Then there's a shot of Ellis's gray eye, and then it pans back out to his face. He's covered in a layer of dirt and various bodily fluids, and beyond that, he's tired and bruised in a few places. The stone ceiling of his barracks room can be seen in the background, and Ellis looks quite perplexed.]

Hello? Anybody out there? This funny little book's talkin' about worlds bein' unmade and records bein' kept and whatnot, but it ain't makin' much sense.

Like, how'm I here if everythin's not made anymore? And hell, you can't unmake shit! My friend Keith tried to unmake a car once, cause he thought it was haunted, but all he got was a broken car and a face full'a burnin' oil. He quit messin' with it after that, mostly 'cause he went blind for like six months. Don't know if it was really haunted or nothin', but I guess anything can happen, after the zombies an' shit...

[Ellis just trails off, then looks around the room. With his free hand, he rubs the space between his shoulder and neck and winces. Getting pounded into the ground by a charger sucks, and he's still aching.

Then, he turns back to the camera and smiles, though it's a little uneasy.]

So, hey, m'name's Ellis. I'm lookin' for Nick, Rochelle, and Coach, if any y'all out there.

[And they had to be, didn't they?]

Comments

[Video]

[thearchangel]

Yeah, we hear you.

[What the hell is that accent though.]

It's just a journal. All you have to do is put a note in it every so often and you'll be fine.

[Video]

[thisonetime]

[That's the sound of the sound! Deep south. Georgia, to be exact.

But Ellis is a little too distracted by Garrus's visage to reply. He just sits there, blinking, mouth agape.

DUDE.

WOAH.

DUDE.

DUDE.]

[Video]

[thearchangel]

[He stares back.]

[His good mandible flicks a few times.]

[voice]

[thearchangel]

[AND THE VIDEO FEED SHUTS OFF.]

Problem?

[video]

[thisonetime]

[Ellis, meanwhile, keeps the video on. He's grinning like a loon.]

No, man, dude, you are so cool!

[voice]

[thearchangel]

[Silence. That's a new one.]

Uh huh.

I'm going to guess and say you've never seen a turian before.

[video]

[thisonetime]

Naw! I seen all kindsa shit, but I ain't never seen somebody like you! Are y'all an alien or just some kinda, I don't know, mutant raptor dude?

[He is entirely unaware of how offensive he might be. At least he's genuine? There's no faking this excitement.]

[voice]

[thearchangel]

Mutant... raptor...

[There is such a look of WHAT on his face right now.]

You know what? Let's just go with 'alien' and leave it at that.

[voice]

[thisonetime]

[BOUNCING OFF THE GODDAMN WALLS

Well, not literally, but Ellis is so fucking excited you don't even know. REAL LIFE ALIEN. HE WAS RIGHT. ALIENS. SO. COOL.]

Shit, shit! This is so awesome, goddamn.

Well, so, okay, y'all said you were a turian, right, y'all from Turia or what? What's it like up in them stars?

[voice]

[thearchangel]

I'm from Palaven. There is no... 'Turia'.

[Why do humans always ask that question? They didn't call their homeworld Huma.]

It's... all right, I guess?

[video]

[thisonetime]

[Most of them have all watched the same movies. Martians, Venusians, and of course humans themselves are Earthlings.]

Y'all ever been to Earth? How's it compare?

[voice]

[thearchangel]

I've never been. Humans don't exactly jump at the chance to welcome the aliens with the strongest military in the galaxy down to their homeworld.

Or into their solar system.

[video]

[thisonetime]

Yeah, most people's afraid'a gettin' invaded or probed or somethin'. Once m'buddy Keith said he got picked up by the little green men, you know, the Martians an' all. Prolly he just got drunk in a corn field an' dreamed somethin' funny, but man, you never know...

[voice]

[thearchangel]

Little... green men. Martians.

[The skepticism in his voice is practically tangible.]

Far as I know, the only 'little green men' in the galaxy didn't even know your planet supported sentient life until your people ran into mine decades ago.

[videp]

[thisonetime]

[Ellis rubs his chin, brushing the stubble almost grown into a beard. God, he needs a shave. And a shower...]

I dunno if that happened the way y'think it did. Not for me, leastways. Pretty sure runnin' into a whole alien colony planet woulda made the local news, at least.

[voice]

[thearchangel]

Depends on the year it was.

For you, I mean.

[video]

[thisonetime]

Oh, I'm from twenty-oh-nine. S'almost winter time, up in America.

[Or, hm, it was.]

[voice]

[thearchangel]

That would explain it. Humans didn't make first contact until a few decades ago, far as I know. And last I checked, it was 2185, back home.

[video]

[thisonetime]

Holy shit, no wonder I don't 'member any o'that! I'd be dead by then!

Man. An alien from the future. This's some time travelin', Back to the Future, E.T., twenty-twelve kinda shit, innit?

[video]

[thearchangel]

Pretty much everyone but an asari or a krogan would be, I think.

... Uh. What?

[video]

[thisonetime]

Oh, what're those? How many'a you guys are there?

[voice]

[thearchangel]

What are what? Asari? Krogans?

Billions. It's a big galaxy. Lots of space to take up. Literally.

[Haha Garrus you're a riot.]

[video]

[thisonetime]

[Well, Garrus, for what it's worth? That's cracking Ellis up. Man's easily entertained. He calms down after a second or two, but it as funny all the same.]

Yeah, yeah, them two.

[voice]

[thearchangel]

Krogan are... big. Angry. They'd sooner shoot you than talk to you, if you look at them wrong. Don't get on their bad side -- or... try not to.

Asari... [He trails off. Asari are harder to describe.] Well. Humans always say they're beautiful. Usually blue. Sometimes purple.

[video]

[thisonetime]

Daaamn.

[Ellis looks down, still grinning.]

Man, I wish I'd still be alive when we discover all y'all, that'd be cool as hell. This is pretty awesome, can't lie, but ain't the same as bein' home or somethin'.